The following came out of a conversation with a friend of mine regarding the permissiveness of wearing sweatpants. I think you'll find this quite insightful.
Alright here are the ground rules:
1. Sweats may only be worn anywhere between Oct. 1st and March 28th (this is assuming the temperature is cold enough)
2. You may not go out of your house once the sweats are on. To grab the newspaper on your front porch may even be a violation of this rule.
3. Anyone other than your spouse may not be present when the sweats are on.
4. You need two cuts at the bottom of each leg to make the sweats somewhat baggy and so that they do not creep up your leg as you sit drinking hot chocolate and humming Christmas carols.
5. If your sweats have your name written near the top it can be assumed that they are the same sweats that you wore in your highschool PE class. At this point they need to be thrown away or burned.
6. Never.....no never....go commando.....
Any turning from these rules may result in utter humiliation and could be the end of both your personal reputation and end any chance at effective church ministry.
6 comments:
Well, you know I couldn't just stay silent. I mean, somebody's gotta comment on this thing. Glad to see that you finally caught the phantom.
I hope that you haven't lost your apt. to fire yet.
well, well, well... i have long wanted for someone to spell out these rules for me. i quit wearing those things a few years back though. they just made me uncomfortable. maybe it was the whole commando thing...
Another important rule that you forgot. Weight limit= 225 lbs.
that's not true Scott. I weigh right over that and I look darn good in a pair of sweats. I'll wager that Mr. Cagle bounces around that number too. Don't rain on our parades just because when you put on sweats, Beth says, "Scott, stop playing around."
Bounce is a good description of what I do to that number. I'm going to make a grilled bologna and cheese...
Have to take issue with #6. I think that going commando is one of the main perks of wearing sweat pants. Which is one of the main reasons why sweatpants can never be worn in public. It's also one of the reasons why sweatpants can never be borrowed from a friend. To quote an oft-maligned TV show, "I'm not going to go commando in another man's fatigues."
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